Image taken by Kim de Beus of Mark Steven Greenfield’s glass mosaic, “Red Car Requiem,” in the new Historic Broadway Station. Metro’s Regional Connector.

In thinking about change another point comes to mind and that is that there are also many aspects of ourselves that don’t change over time. Over the years I’ve noticed my rigidity, an entrenchment in what I believe to be true. Another way to express this sentiment is that I have come to realize that I have a certain attachment to an identification of myself. You know what I speak of, that self that responds and/or reacts the same way over and over again. I now understand that those rigid ways of being may have served me in the past but no longer serve the loving adult I wish to be today. In order to drop these identifications an honest introspective work is needed. Questions like, “why do I keep falling into the same hole or why do these patterns of fear, anger, or shame continue to grip me?” need to be compassionately wrestled with.  

What does intentional living look like? Well, there are many forms of intentional living, but let’s keep in mind that we are exploring intentional living with regards to repairing our “eye” or healing the brokenness within. So how do I apply repairing and healing intentionally to my life in order to bear more receptivity? At its simplest it is to practice presence, to stay in touch with that stillpoint within as I move throughout the day. If I come across a situation that takes me away from that stillpoint then some form of inner work is needed. This may be work that I do on my own through journaling, conversing with a trusted friend, or it may be sitting with a professional (therapist, coach, spiritual director) to unpack what is being activated in me.

At the end of the day I believe that is the invitation for me here, to just be where I am. It sounds so simple, I mean I can't really be anywhere else yet my thoughts often go to the future or the past, anywhere but right here. So, I light my candle, do my sit, and just allow the life that is here to inform and unfold me. Can I trust that all that is needed for growth is present, that the correct variables are interacting? Can I be grateful for the simplicity of the moment and the gentleness of the unfolding? It is a work in progress, but for today I will simply breathe and allow.

At the end of the day, while I am not sure why Roberts decried the religious historians I definitely identify with her synopsis making things up to fit a scenario. I find it difficult to lean into a difficult situation, to admit I just don’t understand, or that I can’t figure something out. It is a real act of faith to trust that if I fully accept this moment exactly as it is that I will learn more in a moment than I could ever figure out with years of mental machinations. Here’s to breathing with each moment and learning to bear what is right in front of me. 

Wow, this really reflects the generous, kind spirit that Jesus was in touch with. I honestly believe that anyone who responded in Love would be recognized by Jesus as for him, even if they were not in his tribe. And not to lean political here, but it would seem if more of us could insert genuine generosity, kindness and love into our hearts our actions would produce very different results. We would forbear one another as I Cor. 13 4 - 7 teaches us. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

At the end of the day this is how I understand this text, that it has to do with Love. Both from our end in being open to receive from Mystery and also that Mystery is willing to reveal itself to us.

What these words ask of me is to stay true to my one path. It has taken time to apprehend what this path is and what it looks like in the context of my life. The mystics mentioned above provide  you a sense of my path. Your path may look different, and that is as it should be, as the path is located in the context of your life. My path, at least at this time, is akin to Meister Eckhart’s living without a why or walking the darkness in the Cloud of Unknowing. It is a path of negation, of patience and attunement, of welcoming all of myself to each moment. It is a slow path where intentionality pays off.

This is the daily rhythm of my life; do justice, love mercy, walk humbly. This adage is akin to Buddha’s three gates of speech. Are these words true? Are they necessary? Are they kind? In a word; surrender. The road of Love requires a surrender that my ego is not interested in doing. I cannot even see the blocks and blinders clearly until the insights and intense burning remove them. I hope the joy of this surrender finds its way to you.

The other understanding I gain from this text is a cautionary one. How often do I approach someone or something with a rigidity of mind? The answer is often. I often take the time to define what it is I am saying or trying to say but dismiss the other. I do not explore their understanding of words and terms we may be using in a conversation. I can sense in myself how I often feel I am right. Frankly there are many times I don’t want to take the time to fully consider the other. What a blunder of heart, both to mine and the other. When I consider the scripture from I Cor. 13 from a mystical perspective, meaning look what Love has done to me, then my actions should be long-suffering, kind, not puffed up or easily provoked, baring, believing, and enduring all things. Love never fails.

If you are inclined towards this way of intentional living, as I am, then all we can do is our best, which is to find those good listeners that can support us in our efforts. Those that understand what it is we are after. We’re also aware that sticking with our practices, such as meditation, journaling, inquiry, counseling, whatever it is for you, is essential. As Jim Finley says, light your candle, do your practice, and intend to not break the thread during the day even knowing the thread will be broken. I trust that the good work that has begun in us will be completed, although not packaged in a large quantity of efficient productivity. Teilhard de Chardin says to “trust in the slow work of God.” May you grow more and more attuned to the exuberance and gentle stillness guiding you. 

In our last blog we talked about the path, which we will continue discussing except in relation to the idea of  slowing unfolding. Roberts says, “Truth is only gradually revealed.” How do I understand or experience that a “gradual accommodation is required”? For myself the discovery is closely tied to the inner discovery of what I am really up to. I am indebted to the Enneagram and Russ Hudson’s teaching to help me understand I have a pattern that I prefer to live from. Having said that, it is important to note that I am not that pattern, but instead an Essence, which has a particular expression at Point Nine. 

A more recent revelation is that Love is everywhere; meaning in everyone and everything. There were a number of weeks where Love was exuding itself from everything and from everyone and from everywhere. Literally, when stepping on the ground Love oozed out, almost as an aroma, the air was infused with Love, and total strangers were Love too. This Love struck me as both ridiculous and reasonable all at the same time. Living life knowing everything is Love requires, as you might imagine, a period of integration and adjustment. If everything is already Love what is left for me to do?